Reality Out of Sync

The National Guard as been deployed in DownTown New Jersey after mortar rounds struck a school and a business center reportedly housing FBI personnel. The area has been secured by the National Guard and reports indicate that witnesses have been removed from the scene for questioning. Correspondent Thomas McLaughlin was able to report the following: [...]

The President has announced today that a new bill will be passed into law making it illegal to provide shelter or aid of any sort to the chimpanzee insurgency that has been in effect for a little over two weeks. Chimp fighters from Ape Qaeda reportedly detonated explosives in a coordinated attack in six different [...]

An explosion early this morning rocked the San Francisco skyline as businesses were preparing to open. Witnesses place at least 4 chimps near the explosion site several minutes before the bomb detonated, killing twelve.  It is believed they were part of the proclaimed “Chimp Revolution Front” also known as Ape Queda. This group is thought [...]

News Break! A letter from a suspected terrorist operative calling himself, Kodo, Son of Topo, e-mailed major news outlets and federal authorities late in the night with a threatening statement last night. It is thought that the person responsible for this apparent scam is playing a practical joke, with references to “Ape Queda” and “The [...]

A small yet surly looking chimp moves hesitantly through the shadows of a corporate office building after hours.  Slung over his shoulder and across his back a modified AK-47 assault rifle. With wide observant eyes, the chimp opens an office door and steps inside, shutting the door behind him. Hopping up onto the chair behind [...]